Tuesday, November 25, 2008

17 Kids and No Clue

I was watching an episode of TLC's Seventeen Kids and Counting last night while I pumped (finally got an electric), and something jumped out at me again. I cannot stand when super-duper Christians talk about following God's plan for having children. I am not a Christian, although I am a baptised Catholic. I have my own spiritual beliefs, and I don't judge the beliefs of others (unless they infringe on the rights of people). What I object to is the ignorant statement that God wants things a certain way without any research into the natural order of things. If God created everything in Heaven and Earth, then doesn't it follow that the way nature works is God's design? If that's the case, then not following a natural breeding pattern goes against that design...

There have been lots of studies and observations about what a normal reproductive pattern is for human beings who are not burdened by modern parenting notions. A woman becomes pregnant, her body prepares to make milk to feed the baby, the baby is born and begins nursing, the baby continues to nurse for several years, and during most of that time, the breastfeeding hormones suppress ovulation. If a woman follows the natural path, then she could have a new child every two to three years. There are exceptions, of course, where a woman's hormones don't suppress ovulation like they should, and she can become pregnant sooner. In the book Ecological Breastfeeding and Natural Child-Spacing, the very Christian author points out that our modern idea of breastfeeding isn't enough to allow natural child-spacing. Nursing on a schedule and forcing a baby to sleep through the night is fighting nature (or God). To truly follow the natural pattern, you have to feed on demand and night nurse.

On the show, the family was hosting another giant Christian family. They too were talking about letting God choose how many children they have (number seventeen is on the way). Unless God is making bottles of formula magically appear in their homes, I don't think He is directing their reproduction rate. I have nursed all of my kids on a natural schedule. With my first, my fertility returned at sixteen months, twenty-two months with my second, and twenty months with my third. At that point, getting pregnant was part of the natural cycle of things. My first two children are twenty-nine months apart, and my third was born when my second was forty months old. At that rate, I would say that God's plan for a woman Mrs. Duggar's age is to have approximately eight kids by now, not seventeen...

10 comments:

Lindsie & John said...

Who's to say what "natural" is? I gave birth to our 3rd bb 3 mo. ago, am nursing exclusively again, and that's on-demand, several times a night, etc. Same with my 1st 2. And I've already ovulated again, having my cycle about 8 wks. after birth. SO, every woman is different. *I also ovulated 6-9 wks. after my 1st 2 children as well*
Let's just let God be the judge of it all. What this family does os up to them, and children are blessings. If they're doing something ungodly here, God will work accordingly...

Lindsie & John said...

Whoops, typo there, not 'os' but IS! See what lack of sleep and 3 children does! I can't imagine having more, much less 17!

derek salmon said...

i appreciate your perspective. being a super-duper Christian myself, who does prevent pregnancy without using any chemicals in our bodies, and is an avid breastfeeder, i can see the sense in what you said about God's natural timing for pregnancy. i am a strictly "from the breast" breastfeeder, baby-led schedule and totally not a fan of formula feeding (or even soothers or bottles really).

my kids are spaced 21 months apart, then 22 months apart. i am NOT ready for a 4th just yet, so i am using protection even tho baby3 is only 3 months old. (period came at 6 months 1st time, then 5 months 2nd time).

Tesha said...

Ok, speaking from a medical standpoint as a pediatric nurse, breastfeeding does NOT- let me repeat- does NOT stop OVULATION. It does stop the bleeding associated with your menstral cycle,but that is it. The lining in the uterus isn't built up with the blood as with a normal menstral cycle, but the ovary is still released once a month. There are far too many people who believe this misconception, and end up RECONCEIVING and have a 9 momth old and an 18-month old at the same time.

I don't know what doctor you have in your area that did not tell you to be CAREFUL when having sex after you have a baby because you are extremely fertile because your hormone levels are still high and out of wack. The breastfeeding helps to regulate all of those things, but it is PURELY conincidence that you have a those spaces between your children. When you are actively trying to conceive a baby you only have a 25% chance of it working!

What the Duggars are doing is what many people do: they're having sex! The biggest gap between their children is 18 months. There is a big reason and its nothing to do with breastfeeding. It is apart of God's design for their family to grow like it is. Many people try for years and years to have one chlid, where they have been blessed with 18 healthy children.

What I believe alot of people's problem is with this family is the fact that they have 18 kids, happily married and NO DEBT. They are some of the only ALL-American families who only spend what they have and don't worry about name brand this and image that. Everyone should take notes. They're pretty damn awesome.

Kristy said...

Every woman's body is different. I wish my body followed yours, but I was nursing on demand and was pregnant again after giving birth 12 weeks prior. My beautiful sons were born on March 17, 2006 and March 21st, 2007. I guess at that rate, I could have 18 kids in 20 years! But having them so close in age was God's plan for my family. We would all be pretty intelligent people if we knew God's plan.

Unknown said...

Reproduction is a seriously complex issue. For anyone with fertility issues, it's not just a matter of having sex at the right time. And a certain percentage of women each year do get pregnant while breast feeding.
It's not an exact science, nor do I believe it's "god's plan" (many drug addicts exchanging sex for drugs can get pregnancy quite easily)
The easiest, and 100% certain way of preventing another child is to not have sex.

superfunmom said...

With all due respect to the pediatric nurse who commented, breastfeeding does stop ovulation. How long that works depends on the breastfeeding and the woman's own body. As I said, some women do ovulate early no matter how often they nurse. The average is 14 months. I've read the science behind it. I do agree that a doctor shouldn't make the blanket statement that breastfeeding is birth control because we have no idea how our bodies will react, since everyone is different. I highly recommend reading "Our Babies, Ourselves" because it has a great chapter on the biology of breastfeeding. It describes the hormones involved, how and when the levels fluctuate, and the physical processes that happen within the breast. Very educational.

As for what "natural" is, I was saying that to me, God's plan equals nature. I know that not everyone stops ovulating for a long period of time. As I've mentioned repeatedly, the average is 14 months.

Perhaps the Duggars are getting pregnant despite the mom breastfeeding. Since I've seen their little babies drinking from bottles, I don't believe that's the case.

Liz said...

i happen to like the duggers- but i do know- according to someone who is on a board with the dugger mom- she weans early to concieve- i also agree that this is certianly not God's plan

Unknown said...

Honestly, reading your post infuriates me. I believe in exclusive breast feeding for the first year. I feed on demand and as often an my baby needs it. Not one drop of formula ever touched my daughter's or son's lips. In fact, I am so pro-breastfeeding that I also pump my extra milk for a baby that I am a donor mom for!

With that being said, I got pregnant with my son when my daughter was 6.5 months - and still fully nursing!!! I continued to nurse her until her first birthday when my Dr recommended I switch her to cows milk for the safety of my 2nd pregnancy.

To think that you know more then God is RIDICULOUS to me. Who are you to judge when other people have their babies? Everything is in God's plan and will happen according to HIS will. We feel so blessed that He gave us both of our children when He did and hope He trusts us more in the future. Only God has power over creation - ONLY GOD!!! If He wants you to have a baby - you will. If He is not ready for you to - it won't happen. Period.

You should do your research before posting such bold statements.

Tesha said...

In response to Melanie, I am very PRO breastfeeding, but I, like many other people may not be able to produce enough to meet the demands of our children. And as much as it sounds great to exclusively breastfeed, other people have active lives and return to work. I'm glad that you have "extra" milk to donate, but for other people formula may be best for them. It's not better one way or the other.

My personal issue with breastfeeding was in the first week, my daughter's pediatrician told me NOT to breastfeed her since I was on maintenance meds for high blood pressure. I had to wait a week until my specialist wrote a statement saying I CAN breastfeed.

Anywho, everyone is different and I can not say one person or another is completely "right".