Stupid Non-asthma

Well, I think I've figured out the origin of the latch issues my two year old is having. After analyzing the entire thing to the point of absurdity, I concluded that it really had nothing to do with me. Grace just wasn't latching correctly anymore. Since the problems arose after she'd been on breathing treatments for two weeks, which is the longest she's ever taken them, I decided to find out why. I was so worried that they had caused some sort of neurological disconnect because from what I've read, babies and toddlers don't spontaneously forget how to latch on and nurse unless they are separated from their mother for days.

Today, I finally found a side effect of one of Grace's meds that seems a likely cause to all of our grief. It can cause "dry mouth". It doesn't sound too ominous, but that condition can apparently interfere with breathing patterns and swallowing! Coordinating sucking, swallowing, and breathing is actually the key to successful breastfeeding (on the baby's part). Two weeks of that crap dried up Grace's mouth to the point that she could no longer get nursing to work the way it always had. The dryness can also lead to dental issues because of a lack of saliva to bathe things. One of the big things that I have noticed over the past month and a half is that I can literally feel Grace's breath on my breast inside her mouth. I now believe that it is all linked.

The bad part is that I don't think she'll ever get back to where she was. I have tried asking her to open wider when she latches on. Rarely, she complies. Most of the time, she says no and loses interest. As I've said before, my goal is child-led weaning. Child-forced-into weaning by a drug was not part of my plan. My other two kids weaned very easily; no tears from anyone. This time around, I've cried and Grace has cried, and that is awful. She still wants to nurse, but she doesn't need to nurse. That leads her to rebuff my efforts to get her to latch on correctly. That in turn leads me to suffer through extremely uncomfortable nursing sessions some times and distract her at other times.

I've been trying to remember to pump on something resembling a schedule so that my milk doesn't completely dry up. Sitting for thirty minutes with the drone of a Medela isn't very comforting, and I sometimes wish that I could just let this slowly go until Grace is totally weaned. I have to remind myself how important it is to me to breastfeed our adopted baby (whenever that happens), but it's hard.